Sunday 29 March 2009

"Furious and mortified"? Diddums, diddums!

It is becoming crystal clear that the distinctive quality of this government is that they are sanctimonious humbugs – simple, if not pure.


Our stern unbending puritanical feminist ‘two-homes’ Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith, is reported to be “furious and mortified” at the disclosure that she paid a video hire bill on her parliamentary expenses that included two ‘adult content’ movies which were allegedly watched by her lonely and doubtless frustrated husband at their ‘second’ [main] home in her Redditch constituency whilst Jacqui - who, like Pooh-Bah, wasn’t there at the time - was residing at her ‘main’ London pied-a-terre home busying herself with her official duties.


This is the woman who is currently pushing legislation through parliament which will make it a criminal offence to have sex, even unknowingly, with a prostitute who has been ‘trafficked’ under the very wide definition of that term in the Bill.


Presumably many women who are paid to perform sex acts in pornographic movies fall into the category of being ‘trafficked’ one way or another. How is the viewer to know? Ms Smith’s husband may well have committed an equivalent moral offence [if not a criminal one], albeit unintentionally, through watching these films.


It should be obvious by now, even to the myopic tin-eared Gordon Brown, that Ms Smith is a walking disaster. Not only is she inept at her job; she has no sense of propriety in the conduct of her personal affairs.


So a little additional mortification in the shape of swift removal from office would not come amiss. And if Ms Smith still does not feel sufficiently mortified, her erstwhile colleague Ruth Kelly no doubt has a range of suitable cilices she can borrow. Or she can obtain one – though not, alas, on parliamentary expenses, but bargain offers available during Lent – from those on view here.



9 comments:

anticant said...

As this informative site observes, "Such garments or adornments have been worn at various times in the history of the Christian faith, for the purposes of the mortification of the flesh or as penance for adorning themselves.

"Penance means being very charitable at all times towards those around us, starting with the members of own family. It is to show love and kindness towards those who are suffering. It is to give patient answers to those that we find annoying and to put the just and rightful need of others above our own."

No doubt Jacqui's erring husband is in urgent need of her penitent patience right now......

a cynic said...

The disclaimer at the bottom of this site, stating that these belts are "intended as collector's items for display purposes only" reminds me of the tale about packets of yeast [?] bearing the legend "WARNING! Do not throw the contents into a bath of water as it will become beer" which were sold in the USA during the Prohibition era.

Merkin said...

Cillices and Merkins?

What is this site coming to?

Soon we will be advertising Viagra and Long Stay pills.

zola a social thing said...

Give em all a bit of Brown I say.

anticant said...

Merkins are not advertised on this site. They are self promoting, as always.

Bodwyn Wook said...

It's the thorny (cilices, cf supra) problem of wanking. Not that she minds if the old boy does, at least then he ain't pestering her.... But what she can't abide is folks thinking he /does/!

We had a belgian hare, zola, who started out as a cute little Easter bunny and then grew up to be known as Old Brown, and who was a bit confused as to /aim/ as he only had cats for playmates. Enough said....

Jose said...

Ugh!

zola a social thing said...

Is there a missing link between politicans and the voters?
There is certainly no missing link between our esteemed Wook and his beastly activities.
Ouch !
Said doggy styled Jacqui with a smile for the cameras.

Bodwyn Wook said...

Over here with the old bastards of my caliber it's all about the "missing dink," hence the viagra....